Advice for Up & Comers

I speak, but I know when to listen. I still feel young and ambitious, but tempered too, with a bit of wisdom that experience has afforded me. At age twenty-nine, I feel that I have hit a stride in life. Seems like a valuable opportunity to give back some of the wisdom gained.

Learn to cook, even if its just a few dishes. It will both save you money and contribute to your health. Develop a taste for fresh vegetables.

If you wear contact lenses, buy a three month supply of daily disposables and change them once a week. You can make three months last for two years. This will save you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars during the course of your life.

If you are not independently wealthy and would like to become an established artist or a successful entrepreneur, find a job. Even a semi-steady part-time job will support you from early beginnings to initial success. Keep the job until you are established, even if it seems beneath you. Simple, steady work is important to maintaining your financial base and will keep you motivated toward greater accomplishment.

Pay your bills on time. Credit is important and difficult to repair if damaged.

Drink a little wine. Drink a bit of beer. It will help keep the occasional pains of daily life in perspective.

Make friends. Family is important, but friends matter just as much. Build relationships. Give up parts of yourself to these friends. Be vulnerable. I recently helped a friend of 20+ years move while I was in the grips of a dental abscess. The whole left side of my face was swollen, but he was grateful and we are stronger friends for it.

Love. Women, men, whatever suits your palate. Make your love known verbally, physically, materially, musically, poetically, by whatever means possible. No one ever gained perspective being a prude.

Take chances. Move from your home town. Change your name. Adapt. Let experiences change you. Make yourself tiny in the presence of those greater than you. Learn from them. Teach yourself. Embrace greatness gradually. Keep your ears opened.

Listen to music. It will enrich your life and contribute to overall happiness and sense of well-being.

Smile. Behaviorists call smiles "the trigger of approach behavior." Even if you fake it, flattery works. Give compliments without expecting their kind return. If you can't be modest, at least be gracious. Say, thank you. Say, you're welcome. Be nice.

Know that you can't please everyone. Some people are sticks in the proverbial mud. Do not let their misery ruin your bliss.

Embrace discipline. Create everyday. Stay focused. Learn how to be clear and sober for long stretches at a time. It will save you money and keep you in a better mood. Be an omnivore. Be a vegetarian. Be a vegan. Do what makes you happy. Exercise helps.

The two main engines of human behavior are guilt and sexual attraction. Yes, there are shades of gray between, but most human action is nudged by these two factors. Know this fact, walk with it, and use it to your advantage.

Don't feel guilty about earning a lot of money. Don't feel guilty about not earning very much money. Life is a series of peaks and valleys. Understand this process, prepare for hard times during feasts and allow for good times during famines. Warren Buffet once said, "When everyone around you is scared, get greedy. When everyone around you is greedy, get scared."

Maintaining balance between active and inactive behavior is vital. Read books. Read magazines. Read websites. Reading is an active process. Read at least half as much as you watch television.

Learn to "read" people. Be considerate. Think of events from their perspective. If you value their opinion, tell them.

In general, know that life is short and if you're not happy with your daily doings, no one will change that for you. Take control of your destiny. Develop opinions. Give back to those who seek advice. Make choices and stick to them.